Life With Myrtle: Season One. Episode 7. Myrtle's Protest

   It's morning time at Myrtle's Home, as Sarah reads the paper, and drinks a cup of coffee, as Regina walks outside, and Sarah asks her Oldest Sister "Don't you have a bar to hit in Grandview?" Regina sighs "I have a day off Sarah. I'm resting." Sarah quips "Another first. Do I know you?" Ted walks outside, as he's dressed, and tells his Wife "Well I'm off to work." Sarah asks "And who hired you?" Ted tells his Sister In Law "I'm doing construction work for the new project in Overland Park." Sarah asks "What new project?" Ted responds "A huge shopping center Sarah. Off to work I go." Ted kisses Regina, as he leaves, and Regina smiles "Look at him, he's working. My Teddy bear's got a job." Sarah hands the paper to Regina, and points to the business section, and asks "Could it be this project?" Regina rolls her eyes, and sighs "Oh shit Sarah. Mama was looking for the paper this morning." Sarah whispers "I hid it in the mailbox." Regina quips "Smart move." Meanwhile yelling's heard from Alberta's house, as Amelia runs towards her Grandmother and Great-Aunt in nothing but a tank top and boxers, as Sarah and Regina gets up, and Sarah asks her Granddaughter "Sleepover?" Regina asks her Great-Niece "Did you and Ward Jr have sex? You remind me so much of me." Amelia snarks to her Great Aunt "I don't look like a leather lizard." Sarah asks her Granddaughter "I thought we agreed you and Ward Jr weren't going to have sex?" Amelia sighs "We only watched movies MaMa." Regina laughs "And more. Good girl. Slut in the making." Sarah glares at her Sister, and Regina walks inside laughing, as she laughs "Not in a tank top and a man's boxers." Amelia meanwhile tells her Grandmother "Ward Jr and I were going to Ferguson today to protest." Sarah glares, and reminds Amelia "Didn't I warn you to stop that thought?" Amelia reminds her Grandmother "MaMa it's my duty." Sarah rolls her eyes, and tells her Granddaughter bluntly "We have other things to discuss, and drop the idea!" Amelia whines "But MaMa.." Suddenly Myrtle's Buick flies into the driveway, to a screeching halt, as Mitzi gets out of the passenger's side, and looks up, as Myrtle slams the door, and gripes "Bastards. Damn bastards." Mitzi kisses the ground, and heads home, as Sarah points to the door, as Myrtle looks at her Great-Granddaughter, and asks "So pulling a trick from Regina's book?" Amelia walks inside, as Sarah asks her Mother "You know don't you." Myrtle yells "They are tearing down my mall Sarah! My walking place, where I worked. Greedy ass Sherman sold it! Son of a bitch! You hid this from me." Sarah tells her Mother "Go ask your other Daughter about Ted's job." Myrtle walks inside, as Mitzi yells from her porch "I need a Xanax riding with her!"
    Inside, Myrtle walks in, as Regina hears her Mother muttering to herself "City's going to hell in a hand-basket. Damn you Sherman." Regina walks out of the den, and asks her Mother "What's wrong Mama?" Myrtle asks "So what's Ted doing? Sarah told me he got a job?" Regina takes a deep breath, and pulls out her cell phone and tells her Mother "I think I'm going to pick up a few hours." Myrtle asks "Well Regina?" Regina rolls her eyes, and tells her Mother slowly looking down "He's working for the construction company that's about to tear down Overland Shopping Center.." Myrtle is silent, and tells her Daughter "I have shopped at that mall for 45 years, worked at Jones, and now your sorry wino's tearing down my stomping grounds. I want him out of my house." Sarah walks back inside, as Myrtle looks over to Sarah, and tells her "You should have told me before Mitzi and I found the doors locked." Regina responds "Well it's dead anyway, and Supermart's perfect!" Myrtle yells "You make me sick!" Myrtle storms out, as Sarah tells her Sister "I'm going to the college to finish that exam. Mama handled it as I figured she would." Regina sighs "Well I'm leaving too. I just don't hope Mama doesn't have a stroke over this." Sarah responds "Amelia's in my room right now getting dressed, and well, Mama can deal with her." As Sarah gets to the door, she turns to her Sister, and tells her "Regina, if I were you, I'd sleep with my eyes open." Sarah leaves, as Regina quickly flees the house, as she heads to Pancake King, sending Ted a text, warning him "Call me before you head home. Mama wants to kill you." Meanwhile, Amelia gets dressed, and walks out of Sarah's bedroom, as she notices the silence, and calls Ward Jr, as she tells her boyfriend "Please bring me my clothes, and and keep a lookout for my MaMa and Grandma."
   An hour later, Myrtle slams the door, as she walks back inside, as she mutters "Parkway Mall's too damn small since they butchered it to be a strip mall Mitzi, and Quivira Park's too damn large." Amelia sits in the den, as Myrtle asks her Great-Granddaughter "Where's Sarah and Regina?" Amelia answers "They left." Myrtle tells Amelia "Well why didn't you follow, or are you waiting for Ward to leave so you and Little Ward can fool around?" Amelia tells her Great-Grandmother "I know you're upset about Overland's closing." Myrtle nods, and asks her Great-Granddaughter "And are you excited Supermart's opening there instead as well?" Amelia sighs "I don't really care Grandma, but if you have a problem, one solution, protest it." Myrtle looks at Amelia, and strokes her hair, and smiles "That idea's brilliant. Sometimes I really underestimate you." Amelia asks "And what does that mean?" Myrtle quips "From this morning I was terrified you were turning into Regina 2.0." Amelia jokes "Mitzi's Grandson is cute." Myrtle sighs "Focus Amelia focus. We don't spend enough time together, and I have an idea on how we can spend some time together. We're going down to the mall. You want to have a riot anyway. And Grandmas let their Grandchildren have their way, if Jenny had lived, Sarah'd be much nicer, but hell I still have a key to the mall." Myrtle chuckles, as Amelia rolls her eyes, and there's a knock on the door, as Mitzi walks inside, and Myrtle asks Mitzi "Care to go with us down for one last walk at the mall?" Mitzi asks Myrtle "Are you crazy?" Myrtle answers "You are close to it, but I'm thinking clearly." Mitzi warns them "The two of you will get arrested, and Sarah will flip her lid." Myrtle responds "I don't give two shits what my children think. I'm having my protest!" Mitzi sighs, and walks out, as Myrtle tells Amelia "Time to go across the state line." Amelia asks "Shouldn't I drive?" Myrtle tells Amelia "Just drive your SUV, and follow me."
    As evening arrives, Sarah returns home from Longview College, as she hears Regina and Ted arguing in the den, as Regina yells "Just one damn day and you got fired!" Ted slurs, as he's buzzed "Well it's your fault!" Regina warns her Husband "Don't start with me again Ted!" Sarah asks sarcastically "I hate to break this loving argument up, but where's my Mama and my Granddaughter." Regina snaps "Who cares? This asshole can't hold a job." Sarah quips "But he can sure hold his beer can't he?" Sarah walks around the house, and calls Mitzi, and Mitzi tells Sarah "I don't know where she went, but she flew out of the driveway, and so did Amelia." Sarah yells "DAMNIT!" Regina walks inside the kitchen, as she asks "Did you go over to Alberta's and check Ward Jr's bedroom?" Sarah yells at Regina "Amelia's not there. But I think I know where she and Mama went." At Overland Shopping Center, Myrtle parks her Buick, as Amelia parks her SUV at the entrance to the former Jones Store, as Myrtle tells her Great-Granddaughter "Enjoy the dinner?" Amelia sighs, as her phone rings "MaMa's calling." Myrtle tells Amelia "Ignore her, we have business to tend to." They head to the door, as Myrtle laughs "May have laid me off, but Sherman was always lazy about updates." Myrtle unlocks the door, as they get inside the mall, and notice the plants removed, and the gate open to Jones, as Amelia asks "We're looting aren't we?" Myrtle smiles "No. I'm going down memory lane. That fountain used to be where I sat and smoked on my breaks when Alberta and I wasn't playing with my hair. That former book store was Jimmy's favorite place. Mine too, and Sarah's." Amelia and Myrtle walks inside the former Jones, as Myrtle cries "I used to do your Uncle Robin's makeup at that counter. He loved to play dress up." Myrtle then looks around, and sighs "This was the first enclosed mall built in Metro Kansas City, and always my playground. Now look at this. A damn Supermart's about to replace this palace." Amelia sighs "Quivira Park's nicer." Myrtle asks "Wanna get slapped. Now start getting things to put into the SUV, and here's a key to the ground entrance." Meanwhile a security guard drives around the mall, and notices Myrtle and Amelia's vehicles, and notices Amelia carrying a box, with Myrtle behind her, and calls the police.
    A  few hours later, Myrtle and Amelia sits inside a jail cell together at the Overland Park Police Department, as Amelia tells her Great-Grandmother "Well I called Alberta, and she and Ward were busy." Myrtle responds "Well they are doing the same thing you like to do with their Son, but it's ok." Amelia asks "Are you calling MaMa?" Myrtle sighs "I called Mitzi, and she likely's told her." The jailer walks inside, and tells Amelia and Myrtle "The two of you have a visitor." Sarah walks inside, as disgust shows on her face, as she looks at her Mother, and Granddaughter, and tells them with anger in her tone "I talked to Mr.Sherman, and luckily he's not pressing charges. And he said you could keep the keepsakes." Myrtle responds "Mighty kind of the jackass." Sarah then turns towards Amelia, as she asks "So did you put Mama up to this?" Amelia asks "Well are you going to let us out MaMa?" Sarah snaps "Amelia Jean Carr, you were so damn hellbent on going to Ferguson, and I asked you what would it accomplish, and forbid it, and so you know, Alberta and Ward forbid Ward Jr also. She told me when she got her clothes on and came over after getting your call from here." Sarah asks her Mother "And what exactly did this stunt accomplish for you Mama?" Myrtle smiles "I got my pin from the office." Sarah reminds Myrtle "It's in your damn jewelry box!" Myrtle yells "That place holds special memories for me Sarah. I worked there, shopped there. You worked there too, and Jimmy and I walked there every day. Tearing it down is like ripping a hole in my heart." Sarah looks at the jailer, and tells him "Let them out." Sarah puts her arm around her Mother, and tells her gently "I know Overland Shopping Center holds memories for you, but Mr.Sherman told me he would let you go back tomorrow for one last tour and I'm going with you. The only condition." Amelia asks her Grandmother "And how about me?" Sarah looks at Amelia, and hugs her, and smiles "I'm kicking your ass. You go back to your apartment, and I better not see you streaking out of Alberta's home again!" Amelia reminds her Grandmother "I'm not a little girl." Sarah responds "And I'm not going to let you turn into another Regina." Myrtle yells "Let's go home!" Sarah, Myrtle, and Amelia leaves.
    It's the next morning, and Sarah sits on the porch, as she drinks coffee, as Regina walks out, and tells her Sister "Well Ted's in Grandview, and I'm off to work." Sarah nods, as Regina leaves, and Myrtle and Mitzi returns, as Myrtle tells Mitzi "I don't like Parkway Mall. Too many people." Mitzi reminds Myrtle "Not many choices left." Myrtle snarls "They have turned the damn place into a yuppie convention and cut the mall up." Sarah smiles "Well at least you have a place to go now to walk." Mitzi nods, as Myrtle tells Sarah "Aren't we going to Overland one last time." Sarah nods as she rolls her eyes "Yes Mama. We're about to leave now." Mitzi heads back home, as Sarah hears yelling from Alberta's house, as Ward yells "Get your half-breeded ass the hell out of my house girl!" Amelia runs from the basement, in Ward Jr's t-shirt, as Sarah and Myrtle rolls their eyes, and Myrtle whispers "The way things look, you may want to go down to Fabric House and make a quilt." Sarah responds "I think I'll just lock her in her apartment instead."
   

Life With Myrtle: Season One. Episode 6. Myrtle Faces The Past: Part Two

 One week later...

    At Myrtle's Home, Mitzi and Alberta sits outside on the porch, as Sarah walks outside to join them, as Mitzi asks Sarah "How's Myrtle?" Sarah sighs "Mama hasn't been herself since Aunt Betty had her stroke. She's stayed in her room, and I'm worried about her." Alberta tells Mitzi and Sarah "She's never done this before." Mitzi tells Alberta "Myrtle and her family have never been very close. Betty Zane and her were the closest, and when Jimmy died, she was like this, but I was able to pull her out of it." Sarah tells them "Mama thinks this is her fault, and I've tried talking to her, but she told me to sit on a hot coal." Mitzi and Alberta asks Sarah "Has she considered going down to Georgia to visit?" Sarah sighs "As long as Aunt Cora's alive, Mama vowed to never return. When Grandpa Caney passed in 1982, Mama and Aunt Cora got into a huge fight in the middle of the church, and.." Myrtle walks outside, in her housecoat, and tells everyone "Leave me alone. Just go back home, and leave me alone." Sarah tells her Mother "Mama, Mitzi and Alberta wanted to cheer you up. I've spoken to Aunt Betty's Daughter's, and she's recovering.." Myrtle yells "She had a damn stroke Sarah! I caused it, and now if all of you excuse me, I'm going inside, and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Myrtle slams the door, as Mitzi and Alberta both offers support, and Sarah tells them "I think it's time Mama goes to Georgia." Alberta heads to her home on the left side of Myrtle's house, as Mitzi heads back to her home, and Alberta yells at a mover "Don't break that!" Sarah walks back inside, as Myrtle sits at the kitchen table, and Myrtle tells her Daughter "Sarah, I've been thinking." Sarah nods, and adds "I think we need to go to Georgia Mama." Myrtle looks at her Daughter, and tells her "I snuck out last night, and won $2500, and I'm going alone." Sarah looks at her Mother, and tells her "Mama you need me to go with you, or Regina.." Myrtle gets up, and tells Sarah "Hell no! I already have enough problems leaving knowing Regina and that wino's here. You keep an eye on the place. My plane leaves tonight." Sarah reminds her "You're going down there to support Aunt Betty and her family. Not to kill Aunt Cora." Myrtle quips "The airline wouldn't let me carry my pistol with me Sarah, and if I see the wicked bitch, I'll tell her you said hello." Myrtle heads back to her bedroom, as Sarah makes a phone call to her Cousin in Georgia, and tells her "Mama's on her way. Might want to warn Aunt Cora."
    Evening has arrived, as Sarah returns from the airport, as Regina and Ted lays on the pull out bed in the den, as Sarah yells "Put on some damn clothes! Damn I feel sick!" Regina and Ted pulls the blanket up over them, as Regina asks her Sister "So Mama's gone?" Sarah sighs "After arguing with the security for an hour, and slapping the guard for touching her, they let her on the plane." Ted quips "I think that old bat needs to be in a home. Last night she sprayed me when I came home." Sarah defiantly reminds Ted "This isn't your home Ted. This is Mama's and she's been through a lot, and you and Regina arguing isn't helping. Now I'm in charge, and you don't want to push me. You'll have more issues besides being impotent." Regina asks Sarah "Well why are you in charge? I'm the Oldest! And I have a job?" Ted responds "About your job.." Regina yells "Shut up Ted!" Sarah tells her Sister 'I'm the only one in this house with brains as Mama puts it nicely. Mitzi and Alberta's also watching the place. So don't pull nothing!" Sarah heads to her bedroom, as Ted reminds his Wife "Well now you have a reason to quit that damn job! You can be the housewife you're meant to be!" Regina tells her Husband "Put on your underwear and shut up." Meanwhile on an airplane, as the pilot tells everyone "We're getting close to Atlanta. We'll be landing shortly." Myrtle sits by the window, as the person sitting next to her asks "Have you ever been to Georgia?" Myrtle sarcastically responds "No. I live a sheltered life. I grew up there!" The man sighs "Damn you don't have to get testy." Myrtle adds "And I'm not interested in giving you pleasure in the lavatory so stop looking me up and down!" The man looks around the plane, as he asks another woman "Ever been to Georgia?", as the pilot tells the passengers "We're now circling, and making our approach.." Myrtle yells "Just land the damn thing!" 30 minutes later, Myrtle's flight has landed, and as everyone gets off the plane, the stewardess tells them "Thank you for flying Alta Airlines. Myrtle walks by, and the stewardess asks "Need help or need me to call for a wheelchair?" Myrtle stares at the stewardess, and asks "Wanna get slapped? I can function just fine you slut." The stewardess steps back and responds "Just doing my job ma'am." Myrtle responds "If taking the man next to me to the lavatory's a job, then you need to be fired." Myrtle walks to the baggage claim, as the stewardess rolls her eyes.
    It's the next morning, and Myrtle has arrived in Carrollton Georgia, and sits in her motel room, as she hears yelling in the room next to her, as Myrtle sighs "Thank God my Grandchildren are grown." Myrtle walks out of her room and looks towards the room with a glare, as she says to herself "And now off to see Betty." Myrtle gets into her rental car, as she drives towards the rehab facility where her Sister's presently residing after suffering her stroke. A few minutes later, at the Rehab Facility, Betty Zane's in her room, as her Husband Fred, Oldest Sister Cora, and Betty Zane and Fred's Youngest Daughter, and Adopted Daughter sits by her side, as Cora preaches, and Betty Zane looks towards her Husband, as Fred stares at Cora, as Cora talks loudly "Remember when Daddy read us the bible every night before bed?" Betty Zane's Daughters walks outside, as youngest Daughter, Anna, tells her close friend, and Adopted member of Betty Zane's family, Piper "Aunt Cora's really making Mother uneasy." Piper sighs "She won't leave. Earlier she was telling the staff how to give Z therapy until Fred told her to leave." Anna sighs, as she glances down the hall, as Myrtle heads towards them, and Anna exclaims "Aunt Myrtle!" Myrtle hugs her Niece, and looks at Piper, and asks "Is this Lynne? Did she get plastic surgery?" Anna laughs "No Aunt Myrtle, this is Piper. She's my best friend and Mother's "fourth" Daughter." Piper welcomes Myrtle with a hug, as Myrtle asks "How's Betty? I hear a dog howling in her room. Need me to call the dog pound?" Anna sighs "Aunt Myrtle, just keep your calm. We've tried everything, and she won't leave." Myrtle quips "One of you go buy her a muzzle." Myrtle walks into her Sister's room, as Betty Zane turns, and starts to cry, as Cora yells "Grandma Slut has arrived! You're not welcome here!" Fred greets his Sister In Law with a hug, as he tells Myrtle "Greetings. You and Betty both look just alike." Myrtle looks at Betty Zane, and smiles "We did take after each other in the looks department." Anna and Piper walks inside, as Cora tells her Niece and Piper "I don't want Myrtle here." Betty Zane points her right finger to Myrtle, as Myrtle asks "Who's the fat dalmatian in the room?" Cora hatefully responds "Excuse me? What did you call me?" Betty Zane cracks a smile, as Fred tells his Daughters quietly "I think my Z's happy Myrtle's here." Betty Zane tells them, as her speech's slurred due to the stroke "Take your Aunt to the farm." Myrtle meanwhile looks at Cora, and goes "Wow! A wig! So many liver-spots I'm surprised the dog pound hasn't mistook you for a stray bitch." Cora yells "Who in the hell do you think you're talking to you old slut?" Meanwhile the nurses arrive, as Betty Zane's taken to therapy, and the nurse hears the arguing behind the curtain, and a slap, as she asks "What's going on?" Betty Zane responds with a look of peace "A family reunion." Fred tells Anna and Piper "Go with Z, and I'll break up this reunion." Betty Zane's rolled to therapy, as Fred asks Myrtle "Z told me to take you down to the farm and to pick a room." Cora asks Fred "Are you out of your mind?" Fred ignores Cora, as Fred asks Myrtle "How's Sarah and Regina doing?" Cora tells her Brother In Law "Both living as sinners like their Mama. Queen Slut the first. The Caney family disgrace.." Myrtle warns Cora "If you don't shut your damn mouth, you'll be in here plugged to a machine. I'll even move back to play with the cord." Fred sighs "Let us go down to the farm, and you can get comfortable Myrtle." Cora asks Fred "Aren't you scared she will try and seduce you?" Myrtle and Fred heads out, as Cora shakes her head with disgust, as Fred tells the nurses "Tell my Zzie I'll be back for dinner." Fred and Myrtle heads to the Caney farm, at the Carroll County line.
    It's evening, and at Betty Zane and Fred's farm, The Caney Farm, Myrtle and Fred sits in the kitchen, as Myrtle tells her Brother In Law "Don't tell Betty I cooked chicken." Fred tells Myrtle "She's happy you're here. The girls are too. And I won't say anything about your fine dinner." Myrtle whispers "I know she's health-conscious, but.." Fred stops Myrtle, and gently says "It's been lonely coming home each evening without her. But she'll be home soon and I know she will. She's tough." Myrtle nods "She certainly is." Myrtle tells Fred, changing subjects "The two of you did a great job on the home place. I even seen where Betty left all of our names in the wall in the sun room. From the Oldest, to me." Fred laughs "Even where you scratched over Cora's name also." Myrtle sighs "I can't stand her." Fred sighs "We try to love everybody, especially Z, she's always so outgoing." Myrtle tells Fred "The two of you did an excellent job raising your girls, and Mama and Daddy would have been proud of y'all. All these years in Kansas City, and coming down here, and the accent kicks back into high gear." Fred laughs, as he looks at the clock, and tells Myrtle "Our maid fixed your room up for you. We'll go see my Z in the morning." Myrtle heads to the guest room, as she sits on the edge of the bed, as she has flashbacks to her childhood, and sighs "It still feels like home."
    The next day, Myrtle and Fred arrives at the Rehab Facility, as Cora waits outside Betty Zane's door, and snarks "So having an affair on my Sister are you Fred?" Fred warns Cora "I really think you need to stop with this. Myrtle's nothing like you say she is, and I think you need to leave." Cora snides "Well your Daughters aren't here." Fred responds "They work Cora." Myrtle adds "Don't you have an appointment at the makeup counter?" Cora snaps at Myrtle "Nobody wanted to see you return! You are nothing but an embarrassment to our family. Your two Daughters were nothing but sluts, and your Son, a worthless loser, and your Grandchildren..." Myrtle stops her Sister boldly, and yells "Shut your old decrepit-ed ass up. I've had enough." Myrtle pulls Cora's wig off, as Anna arrives, and Cora yells at Myrtle "Don't you dare." Myrtle takes Cora into an empty room, and locks the door, as Myrtle looks at Cora, and goes "Ok. Now I see why I stopped having perms. You are nothing but a holier than thou hypocrite that does nothing but judge others, and gets enjoyment from trying to control people's lives, and I won't watch you do that to Betty, or her family. You've worn out your welcome." Cora yells at her Sister "You have no room to talk. You got pregnant and wasn't married. You hurt our family." Myrtle bluntly reminds Cora "Mama and Daddy were good people, and once they met Jimmy, they adored him. He and Fred were friends, and even your dear Edgar liked him." Cora snaps "The hell he did." Myrtle asks "So since we're opening up Cora, why did you change your last name back to Caney?" Cora snaps "Because someone worthy needed to keep the family name alive. And I'm worthy! Why don't you go back to your house of sin Myrtle?" Myrtle tells her Oldest Sister "Edgar had enough and divorced you after 50 years, and your kids want nothing to do with you. I talk to Edie, and.." Cora snaps "Don't judge me!" Myrtle tells Cora "I'm stating mere facts, and the fact is, you like to preach, but you don't follow your sermons. You alienated your family, because you are nothing but a bitter old woman with nothing else to do. My life was never perfect, but I wouldn't change a damn thing. And maybe you should go look in the mirror, and let our Sister heal in peace. And here's your damn 5 dollar wig." Myrtle walks out of the room, as Cora fumes, and leaves the Rehab Facility, as Myrtle walks inside Betty Zane's room, as Betty Zane moves her left arm on her own, and her left foot, as Anna hugs her Father, and Myrtle starts to cry, as Betty Zane tells her Sister "Now stop that Myrtle." Anna starts to cry as well, as Betty Zane defiantly exclaims "The lord is healing me!" Myrtle smiles "The Caney fire still burns, and it's burning madly now." Betty Zane gently tells her Sister "All I needed was the Lord, and my family, and I'm going nowhere yet!" Betty Zane and Myrtle hugs, as Fred and Anna watches on, both crying tears of joy.
    A week later, in South Kansas City, Myrtle returns home, as Sarah sits in the kitchen, as Myrtle walks into the kitchen, and tells her Daughter "I'm home." Sarah hugs her Mother, and ask "How's Aunt Betty?" Myrtle smiles, as she responds "She went back home yesterday, and walked out of the Rehab Facility, with a cane, but she's going to be just fine." Sarah laughs "I heard you let Aunt Cora have it while you were there." Myrtle laughs "Damn straight I did, and I finally made peace with everything. How were things here?" Sarah sighs "Actually smoothly, normal." Myrtle walks around the house, as she returns to the kitchen, and tells her Daughter "Well at least everything was where it was when I left." Sarah and Myrtle hug, as they celebrate Betty Zane's miraculous recovery from her stroke.

                (Dedicated with love to Betty Zane Waters, and The Waters Family)
 
   

Life With Myrtle: Season One. Episode 5. Myrtle Faces The Past: Part One

  At Myrtle's Home, Regina and Ted has left, as Sarah sits in the den with Myrtle, as Myrtle asks her Daughter "So when will we settle that bet?" Sarah responds "It looks like we both lost, so let's call it even Mama." Myrtle sighs "Yeah she lasted longer than a week, and Ted's been going down there all the time, or to his second home. It feels like normal around here." Sarah sighs with relief "It sure does Mama." Meanwhile there's a knock at the door, as Myrtle walks up into the living room, as she tells Sarah "I've been watching the movers. May be Alberta. Could be Mitzi." Myrtle opens the door, as her jaws drop, as her Sister, Betty Zane Waters stands at the door, and Myrtle stands in silence, as Sarah walks to the door, and asks her Mother "What's wrong Mama.." Sarah gets excited as Betty Zane looks at her Youngest Sister, and asks "Well Myrtle? Gonna let me in? I came all the way from Georgia." Myrtle hugs Betty Zane, the middle   of Myrtle's three Sisters, as Myrtle tells her in shock "I'm just stunned you came up to Kansas City to see me Betty." Betty Zane jokes "Well honey, you've said for years you were coming home, but you haven't done it, so I felt it to surprise you and here I am!" Myrtle welcomes her Sister inside, as Sarah asks her Aunt "How's Uncle Fred doing?" Betty looks at her Niece, as she responds "He's well, be 90 next year. My wonderful Daughters thought it would be good if I took a vacation, and I chose Kansas City." Myrtle quips "As long as the wicked witch of the South still breathes, I won't be paying a visit anytime soon." Betty Zane sighs "Cora. Well Myrtle, don't you think it's time the two of you make peace?" Myrtle asks "Does she still think she's God's chosen saint?" Betty turns to Sarah, and asks "So I hear Billy's a Reverend?" Sarah re-corrects her Aunt "Priest Aunt Betty. He's serving overseas. Been doing it for years now." Betty Zane meanwhile looks at Myrtle, and asks "So where's Regina and the new Husband?" Myrtle responds "Likely doing something you don't want to know anything about." Sarah tells her Mother and Aunt "I think we should go out to lunch, my treat! I'll call Amelia and invite her also." Betty Zane asks Myrtle "Are you going to invite Regina?" Myrtle shakes her head, and tells her Sister "They can go rent a room in Grandview, and you stay here with me. I know how you are, and they would offend you." Betty Zane notices an empty beer can, and Myrtle motions to Sarah, as she quickly throws it away, and Myrtle sighs "I think you'll just sleep with me, like when we were younger. Otherwise all hell will break loose." Betty Zane sighs "So Regina's still herself?" Sarah and Myrtle both nods, as they all head off to Quivira Park Mall, located in Overland Park Kansas.
   A hour later, Myrtle, Sarah, and Betty Zane returns to Myrtle's home, as they hear yelling inside the house, as Regina and Ted have returned, and Myrtle looks at her Daughter and Sister, and tells them "Stay out here and come in when it's quiet." Myrtle walks inside, where Ted yells at Regina in a drunken tone "I told you to quit that damn job Regina! NOW!" Regina yells back "And when in the hell will you find something to do besides sit on a damn bar stool Ted?" Myrtle yells at her Daughter and Son In Law "Shut the hell up both of you! We have a guest staying with us! I won't tolerate this while she's here do you read me?" Ted snarks at Myrtle "Well tell Regina to quit working at Pancake King, and we won't have this damn problem!" Myrtle asks Ted "And did you find a job yet? Considered being a beer taster in St.Louis?" Ted yells "A woman's place is in the home!" Outside, Betty Zane looks over to her Niece, as she tells Sarah in a gentle tone "You have done a great job with Amelia. She's a pleasure. Reminds me of my Granddaughter." Sarah tells her Aunt "Amelia reminds me so much of Jenny, and I really don't feel like her Grandma, but her Mother." Betty Zane sits in one of the rocking chairs, as she holds Sarah's hand, and tells her "You have always impressed me my sweet Sarah. You are so strong, and to go through what you did.." Sarah gets quiet, as she sighs "I miss her everyday. I took that girl home from Park Lane Hospital myself. She's a miracle." Betty Zane smiles "God gave you a reason to keep going Sarah. Amelia needed you." Back inside, Myrtle pulls Regina into the kitchen, as Ted yells "Come back here Regina! We're not through yet!" In the kitchen, Myrtle tells Regina "Betty Zane's here." Regina gasps "Aunt Betty?" Myrtle nods, and sternly warns Regina "Any shit from you or Ted, and I'll throw both of you the hell out of my house!" Regina looks at her Mother, and responds "Mama, Ted will straighten up. I love Aunt Betty." Sarah and Betty Zane walks inside, as Ted yells "And here's Sarah and someone I don't know! More moochers?" Betty Zane looks up, and sighs "Oh my stars." Sarah tells her Aunt "Meet Ted Jones, King wino of South Kansas City, and the top moocher in this house." Regina walks out of the kitchen, as Betty Zane goes "Regina!" Regina hugs her Aunt, and Ted yells "This woman's another relative?" Myrtle walks into the den, as Betty Zane whispers to her Nieces "Myrtle's still fiery I see." Regina and Sarah takes Betty Zane into the kitchen, as Myrtle grabs Ted's shirt, and bluntly tells him "Pack your things, and find another place to stay!" Ted responds "I'll go! And I won't come back." Myrtle sarcastically responds "Maybe The Veteran's Club has a room available!" Ted storms out, as Regina shakes her head, and Betty Zane asks Regina "So you're married again. I've lost count, how many times have you been married?" Regina sighs "Ten." Myrtle warns Regina "He comes here while Betty's here, there will be hell to pay." Betty Zane shakes her head, and sighs "Myrtle Caney Thomas, you are still a spitfire." Myrtle stares at Regina, and quips "I have to be with her around." Betty Zane rolls her eyes, as Regina keeps her composure, and Sarah watches closely, as afternoon turns into evening.
   It's night-time, and in the den, Regina lays on the pull out bed, as Sarah sits up in the living room, as Regina tells her Sister "Well Ted's staying in Grandview until Aunt Betty leaves, and things are peaceful for once." Sarah quips "When Aunt Betty visits, she brings this positive aura with her." Regina looks at her Sister, and asks "So why can't we be close like Mama and Aunt Betty?" Sarah sighs "I don't know. But let's play pretend." Regina confides "Sarah, I'm glad Ted's staying in Grandview. He's really pushing his limits with me with the job." Sarah bluntly asks her Sister "Does Ted work?" Regina shakes her head, and Sarah responds sternly "Well Ted needs to shut his ass up, and you stand up for yourself for once Regina! I've been divorced for 20 years, and I have enjoyed being independent. If you tried it, you would like it. Life doesn't revolve around men, and there's few Daddies and Uncle Freds." Regina sighs 'But Sarah, I don't like being alone." Sarah reminds her Sister "You can put all the makeup on you want, color your hair, but you have children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, hell you're too old to be playing slut. Accept the fact you're old, and ain't a damn thing you can do about it. Embrace it." Sarah heads to her bedroom, as Regina tells her Sister "Sarah?" Sarah turns, and Regina tells her Sister "Don't use this against me, but I wish I was strong like you." Sarah looks at her Oldest Sister, and heads to bed. In Myrtle's bedroom, Myrtle and Betty Zane sleeps together, as Myrtle tells her Sister "It feels like when we were kids." Betty Zane smiles, and goes "It does. You should see the homeplace now Myrtle. Popper and I renovated it, and it's beautiful." Myrtle looks over at Betty Zane, and tells her "After Merle passed, it's now just you, me, and Cora left. And you know you and I got married the same year too." Betty Zane responds "This year will be 65 years." Myrtle sighs "I miss Jimmy so much. I know Mama and Daddy had problems he was 14 years older than me, but he was my shining light. I lay here at night, and I pretend he's here." Betty Zane holds Myrtle's hand, and gently responds "He's in heaven now Myrtle, and he went the way we all would like to go." Myrtle tells her Sister "It meant so much to me when you and Fred came up and stayed that week with me after he passed." Betty Zane looks at Myrtle, and tells her Youngest Sister "That's what Sisters do." Myrtle hugs Betty Zane, and they say a prayer, as they go to sleep.
   It's one week later, and Betty Zane prepares to return home to Georgia, as Betty Zane asks Myrtle "So where's Regina?" Myrtle tells her Sister "Working. I think she's enjoying herself." Betty Zane gently tells Myrtle "I know you still have hard feelings about years ago, and you take it out on her. Maybe you need to grow close to her and let it go." Myrtle sighs "It's hard to do Betty. I wasn't blessed with three great Daughters like you were. I have a good Son I haven't seen in years, and Sarah." Betty compliments Myrtle, and reminds her "You and Regina try to grow closer. It isn't her fault Myrtle." Sarah meanwhile walks inside, and Betty Zane hugs her Niece, as she tells Sarah "You take good care of your Mama." Sarah tells her Aunt "You give everyone a big hug for me, and send my love, and have a safe flight." Myrtle asks Betty Zane "Want me to go with you to KCI?" Betty Zane tells her Sister "I remember the way to the airport Myrtle, and I think I'd feel safer driving myself. You get too angry on the road." Sarah laughs, as Myrtle quips "Aggression pays dividends in this town." Betty Zane responds "Well if you ever come visit, you'll be surprised how much Carrollton's grown." Myrtle laughs "When Cora's gone or placed in a nursing home, then maybe." Betty Zane hugs her Sister, and tells Myrtle "I love you." Myrtle responds "I love you too Betty. Be careful and call me when you get home." Betty Zane smiles, and tells Myrtle and Sarah "I will, and remember what I said." Myrtle nods, as Betty Zane pulls out of the driveway, and heads to the airport to return to Georgia. Myrtle stands on the porch, as Sarah stands next to her Mother, as Myrtle has a tear in her eye, and Sarah notices, and whispers "Do I see some emotion?" Myrtle sighs "Betty's a saint. Time's been good to her." Sarah tells her Mother "It's been good to you also Mama." Myrtle hugs her Daughter, as they walk back inside.
    Three hours pass, as Regina has returned, and tells her Mother and Sister "Ted's on his way home." Sarah sighs "You didn't listen to a damn word I said did you Regina?" Regina responds "He'll have to accept that I'm working, and if he doesn't like it, then he can kiss my ass." Meanwhile Myrtle paces the kitchen, as she calls the airport in Atlanta, and responds "Thank you." and hangs up, as Myrtle walks back into the living room, as Myrtle quips "Betty's plane landed safely, and she promised to call me!" Sarah reminds her Mother "Traffic in Atlanta's worse than here in Kansas City." Myrtle responds "I wouldn't know because I haven't been to Georgia in 35 years." Suddenly, the phone rings, as Myrtle quickly answers, and goes "Betty Zane, I told you to call me as soon as....you.......landed....." Myrtle drops the phone, as Regina and Sarah looks at their Mother, as Myrtle stares at them, and Myrtle is speechless, and she looks at her Daughters, as Sarah picks up the phone, and speaks to her Cousin, and tells her "I will tell her." Sarah hangs up, as Myrtle looks at Sarah, and Regina, as she tells them with her voice trembling "Betty's had a stroke." Sarah and Regina comforts their Mother, as Myrtle cries "This can't be true. This just can't be true.."

           (Dedicated with love to Betty Zane Waters, and the Waters family.)
 

Life With Myrtle: Season One. Episode 4. Regina Gets A Job

   It's morning time at Myrtle's Home, as Myrtle sits on her porch, as Mitzi sits next to her, as they drink coffee, and go through their mail, as Myrtle tells Mitzi, holding two envelopes "Well it's time to go to the river." Mitzi goes through her mail, as she sighs "Bills Bills Bills." Myrtle quips "Yeah, mine have went to hell since Regina and Ted moved in here." Sarah pulls into the driveway, as Myrtle yells "Sarah!" Mitzi looks at Myrtle, as Sarah tells her Mother "Well Mama, I did what you asked, here it is." Sarah pulls an application out for Pancake King, as Myrtle asks her Daughter "Are they hiring?" Mitzi asks "Pancake King Myrtle? Regina?" Myrtle quips "She'd fit in well there, and out of my hair." Sarah quips "They're hiring, always open, and always hiring. It'd be perfect for Regina." Mitzi asks Myrtle and Sarah "Has she ever held a job before?" Myrtle laughs "Only in alimony Mitzi. All those divorces, money, and then broke, and marries again, one worse than the last." Sarah sarcastically answers "And now she can't do better than Ted." Myrtle quips "Age hasn't been kind to her, like it has to us." Regina meanwhile walks outside, as Mitzi tells Myrtle and Sarah "I'm going to cook Johnny breakfast before he goes to sleep for work tonight." Regina watches Mitzi, as she asks her Mother "So are all of you out here talking about me again Mama?" Myrtle holds up the electric bill, and asks her Oldest Daughter "Do you know what's in this?" Regina responds "A bill Mama?" Myrtle nods, and answers "Right. And do you know how much it is Regina?" Regina is silent as Myrtle yells "$500.00! You and that damn wino in there have sent my bills through the roof, and if you and Ted are going to stay here, you better get a damn job!" Regina looks over to Sarah, and asks "Well does Sarah pay rent?" Myrtle tells Regina "She does help me, unlike you. Every morning.." Regina sighs "I'm just a housewife that takes care of her Husband." Sarah looks away, as she laughs to herself, as Myrtle responds "You are a snake that's waiting on Mama to die because she thinks she's inheriting my home, and her parents money! And that's not the case!" Regina yells "Ted doesn't want me to work Mama!" Myrtle gets up, and boldly tells Regina "Ted Jones can go to hell and so can you!" Sarah hands the application to Regina, as Regina goes "Pancake King?" That diner at the state line?" Myrtle asks with a mischievous smile "Would you like to stay with Mommy?" Regina responds "We have nowhere else to go." Myrtle tells her Daughter "Under the overpass will be your next place if you don't get your ass moving." Regina whines, and Myrtle snaps "And since you're dressed, get down there now. I am going to start packing your things today." Regina huffs "Fine!", and heads to her car, as she sighs "Damn you Sarah." Regina pulls out of the driveway, as Myrtle looks at Sarah, and smiles, as Sarah asks her Mother "Are you hiding something from me?" Myrtle laughs "She doesn't know it, but Mitzi and I went down there already, and Regina's actually going in for training." Sarah walks inside, as she laughs, and Myrtle yells into the den, where Ted's asleep "Get up and go to your second home! You're too damn drunk to look at!" Ted wakes up slowly, as Myrtle picks up Ted's shirt and pants, and throws them to him, and walks with Sarah into the kitchen, as Myrtle quips "She's got night shift, and we have the house to ourselves."
   As afternoon comes turns into evening, Myrtle and Sarah returns from the casino, as Regina asks her Mother and Sister "Where the hell have the two of you been?" Myrtle quips "Looking for husbands. We went to the river for a little while. Mama got her check." Sarah sighs "And the little shit wins again." Regina yawns "Ted's gone, and I have to head into work shortly. They work you to death at that sleaze pool." Myrtle goes "Pancake King's a great place. Jimmy and I went often, and when I walk through the door, all the waitresses come to my table and treat me like a Queen." Sarah tells her Sister sarcastically "And you'll meet men. This may be the first time in recorded history you're actually tired from standing up and moving around." Regina snaps "Don't start with me Sarah." Myrtle quips, as she heads into the kitchen "And while Regina's working, I'm having a party." Regina snaps "And you're raising hell about bills?" Myrtle walks over to the cabinet, as she pulls out some cigar boxes, and hands Sarah some money, and tells her "Get me some vodka. The good stuff." Regina snaps at her Mother "You are a damn hypocrite. You gripe about Teddy and I all the time, and tonight you're drinking?" Myrtle, pulling out cards, dice, and walking around the kitchen, mumbles "I know how to keep my legs shut when drinking. My mouth too." Regina snaps "You are really getting on my nerves. I could put you in a home you know?" Myrtle turns around, and tells Regina "And I could put you in a sanitarium. Now since you're in uniform, go on to work and leave me the hell alone." Regina asks "And what about Ted?" Myrtle laughs "I'll tell him where you are. Bye Regina." Regina storms out, as Myrtle walks over to the phone, and calls Mitzi, and Alberta, telling both "Tonight I'm having a party. Come over here. Regina has to work." Both agree, and a few minutes later, Sarah returns, as Myrtle tells her Daughter "It's going to be a great evening with what I have in mind." Sarah looks at her Mother, as she takes the vodka to the refrigerator, and reminds Sarah "I only drink at special occasions, and Regina working, means tonight I drink."
   As night's fallen, at Pancake King, down the road at State Line and 435, Regina waits on a table, as she tells them "Welcome to Pancake King, want any appetizers?" Another table yells "Hey what about us?" Regina smiles, and snarls "In a minute!" The cook walks over, as he tells Regina "For a woman your age I'd think you'd know this trade from the looks of you." Regina snaps "And what the hell do you mean by that?" The cook laughs "You look like the Queen of the lizard people, and if you play right, you can make huge tips. Trust that." Regina tells the cook "Take care of these people and let me freshen my makeup." Regina runs to the bathroom, as a drunken Ted walks inside, and another waitress asks Ted "Ted Jones. The bar is full, want a table?" Ted, fuming slurs "I want to see my damn Wife!" Regina runs out of the bathroom, and her eyes widen, as Ted sits at a table and tells his Wife "You belong at home! Protecting me from your Mother and her crazy ass friends and your family." Regina asks "What do you mean?" At Myrtle's Home, the vodka bottle's being passed around, along with Orange Juice, as Myrtle, Sarah, Mitzi, Alberta, and Sarah's Granddaughter, Amelia sits at the kitchen table, as Amelia tells her Grandmother "I feel like I could be back with Ward Jr than being here." Myrtle tells her Great-Granddaughter, as she's got a buzz "We needed a DD for later." Alberta reminds Amelia as she too is buzzed "Ward Jr may be home, but your future Father In Law didn't want you there." Sarah, the only one besides her Granddaughter who's sober, as Mitzi yells "Let's all talk about sex!" Sarah looks over at Amelia, and says with relief "Sweetie. We have our hands full." Myrtle yells "Jimmy and I had sex every day, as soon as dinner was finished after the kids moved out. He was a good boy." Mitzi laughs "Boyd and loved to play in each room in the house after our kids grew up and moved out before Johnny moved in." Alberta quips with a grin "Got some before I came over, and he told Amelia to drive me here because..." Myrtle looks over at her Great-Granddaughter, and asks "So have you.." Amelia, embarrassed goes "Grandma!!" Alberta covers Amelia's mouth, and whispers "I know you and my Son have, but kept quiet." Sarah rolls her eyes at Amelia, as Sarah tells her Granddaughter "I just hope you are using protection. I'm not ready to be a Great-Grandma!" Myrtle yells "Me either." Mitzi slurs "You'd be a Great Great Grandmother.." Myrtle yells "I know Mitzi! And I am done sending money gifts and shit." Sarah looks around, as Myrtle, Mitzi, and Alberta finishes off the vodka, and Myrtle looks around, and tells everyone "Let's go spying." Alberta slurs "Regina and Pancake King? Damn I want to see that. Regina whatever the hell her last name, working." Mitzi sighs "I need to stock up on aspirin." Sarah has a look of dread, as does Amelia, as Sarah tells Amelia "You take Alberta, and I'll drive Mama and Aunt Mitzi." Myrtle, Mitzi, and Alberta heads outside, and Amelia tells Sarah "MaMa, I've never seen Aunt Mitzi drunk before, or Grandma and Alberta. They are crazy!" Sarah puts her hand on her Granddaughter's shoulder, and smiles "They are, and I'm not very crazy that you lied to me." Amelia responds "I've used protection." Sarah responds "Let's take care of the party, and we'll discuss this at a later time sweetie." Amelia and Alberta gets into Amelia's car, as Myrtle sits in her Buick, and Sarah tells her Mother "Move over!" Myrtle sighs "Damn I wanted to hot rod." Sarah pulls out of the driveway, and Amelia follows, as the caravan heads to Pancake King.
    Back at Pancake King, the diner's full of patrons, as Ted sits at the bar, and yells at Regina, in a drunken tone "Hey I told you to go home!" Regina yells back at her Husband "If you want a damn home, drink that coffee and shut the hell up!" One patron yells at Regina "We don't come here for that!" Regina yells "I've had a damn enough of you too! Meanwhile in the parking lot, Sarah pulls up, as Myrtle and Mitzi sits in the back seat, as both of them are passed out, and Amelia pulls up besides her Grandmother, as Alberta's awake, and tells Amelia "Let's go inside." Sarah walks over, and sighs "Well it looks like two of the gang's out." Alberta looks inside Myrtle's Buick, and laughs, as she sobers "That was fun. I have no doubt the two of them had a great time." Sarah quips "No doubt they did. They look like little kids on a road trip." Alberta looks through the window at Pancake King, and sees Regina throwing a tantrum, as Ted yells, and Sarah sighs "Well I think I would have preferred staying home and listening to Mama talk about sex." Alberta laughs "I had fun, and we bought that house. Moving in in a few weeks." Alberta looks at Amelia, and tells her "Just take me through a drive thru, and take me home. I have seen enough..." Alberta, Sarah, and Amelia turn, as the manager pulls into the parking lot in a fury, and Sarah tells her Granddaughter "I'll visit you soon Amelia." Amelia sighs "And that talk." Sarah hugs her Granddaughter, and responds "I just want you to be careful." Amelia and Alberta leaves, as Alberta tells Amelia "Looks like someone's about to get fired." Sarah meanwhile drives her Mother and Mitzi back home, and Myrtle wakes, as she asks her Daughter "I thought we were going to see Regina?" Sarah responds "She had her hands full." Back at Pancake King, the manager walks inside, as she yells "Two damn cars just left and I think it's because of you Regina Jones!" Regina asks "Was it a Buick?" The manager looks over at Ted, and yells "And you can't be babysitting your Husband working in MY restaurant! You're fired!" Regina takes her apron off, and yells "And take this and stick it up your ass!" Regina and Ted leaves, as Regina tells her Husband "You can sleep on the floor!"
    A week later, Regina sits in the den, as she drinks a beer, as it's morning, and Sarah walks down, and asks her Sister "So how's things going dear Sister? Enjoying your job?" Regina responds "Luckily Mama talked that bitch of a manager into keeping me on. Where is Mama?" Sarah responds "She and Mitzi went for their morning stroll at the mall." Ted walks into the den, as he's ready to go to the Veteran's Club, and asks his Wife "So are you going to quit?" Regina defiantly responds "No! I actually enjoy working there. I fit in, and made a few friends." Sarah asks "Male or Female?" Ted listens, as Regina responds "None of either of your's business!" Myrtle and Mitzi meanwhile walks inside, as they return home, and Myrtle tells Regina "Mama did you a favor this morning and stopped in at Pancake King, and heard such nice things. I'm impressed." Regina smiles for a moment, as Myrtle holds an envelope, and Regina asks her Mother "Is that the mail?" Myrtle responds "No Regina. It's your first check." Regina walks up into the living room, as she tells her Mother "So are you going to let me see it?" Myrtle puts the check in her purse, and quips "I had the manager sign it to me, and now I have bills to pay, but don't worry, breakfast's on me." Mitzi walks out of the kitchen, as she tells Sarah, Regina, and Ted "We got some pancakes." Regina rolls her eyes, as Myrtle smiles, and reminds Regina "If you want to stay with me, you have to pay." Myrtle looks at Ted, and tells him "Now it's your turn." Ted walks out, as he mumbles to himself, and Myrtle, Sarah, and Mitzi walks into the kitchen, as they have breakfast, as Regina sighs "I'm tired of pancakes."