It's morning, as Sarah sits in the kitchen with coffee made, and newspaper sitting at the kitchen table, as Myrtle walks out of her bedroom, as Sarah asks her Mother "Notice anything?" Myrtle walks into the living room, and looks into the den, and walks back into the kitchen, and smiles "Did the two moochers move?" Sarah takes a drink of coffee, and sighs "If only. They went out this morning." Myrtle quips "Well good." Sarah looks at her Mother, as Myrtle grabs the keys to her Buick, and Sarah asks her Mother "Where are you going Mama?" Myrtle asks her Daughter "May I borrow a hoodie?" Sarah looks at Myrtle for a moment, with a quizzical look on her face, and asks "What are you up to Mama?" Myrtle answers "My hair. Hair Palace didn't do a great job, and the bitch cutting it couldn't get off her phone after I made it damn well known how I wanted.." Sarah sighs "You wild woman. So where are you going? A wig shop?" Myrtle tells her Daughter "Troost and 63rd. I called an old girlfriend this morning, and found where my dear Alberta's working now." Sarah responds "She owns her own salon at New Landing Mall Mama, and I think I should go with you." Myrtle defiantly tells Sarah "NO! You stay here, and lie to your Sister when she sadly comes back." Myrtle heads to Sarah's bedroom, to grab a hoodie, as she mutters "Could have told me sooner before a 20 year old turned my hair into a frizzed out mess." Sarah rolls her eyes, as she reads the paper, and Myrtle walks into her bedroom, and opens the closet door, as she puts her sunglasses on, wearing a black hoodie, and grabs a pistol that belonged to Jimmy, and pepper spray, as she walks back into the kitchen and yells "Locked and loaded!" Myrtle walks over to the stove, and pulls out a knife, as Sarah asks "Are you sure you don't want.." Myrtle tells Sarah in a stern tone "I'll be fine! I got enough weapons on me that nobody will want to take me on. Now just stay here and guard the premises." Myrtle walks out the back door, as she heads to New Landing Mall, as Sarah rolls her eyes, as a few minutes later, Regina and Ted returns, as Regina asks her Sister "Where's Mama?" Sarah laughs "In the ghetto Regina." Regina freaks out, as Sarah fills Regina in, with mischief on her face, as Regina tells her Husband "We have to go get her! Mama's going to get killed!" Ted walks over to the refrigerator, pulls out a beer, and sighs "Your Mother, and I'm going to the den." Regina looks at Sarah with panic, as Sarah responds "Don't look at me. You have a beer, smile, and leave her be."
In a Buick, driving down Troost, Myrtle has her hoodie up, and looks around as a car swerves towards her, as Myrtle flips the bird to the driver, and the driver stops, as he looks, and says "That old bitch's crazy." Myrtle keeps driving, as she looks around, and gets sentimental briefly, as she says to herself "I loved this area. Look at it now. A damn war zone." Someone honks their horn, as Myrtle pulls over to the side of the road, as the driver yells "Speed up you old bitch!" Myrtle rides the car's bumper before she arrives at New Landing Mall, where Myrtle shopped at many years ago when Regina, William, and Sarah were children, as Myrtle looks around, as she says to herself "Looks like it always did." Myrtle gets out of her car, and walks inside, as people look around, and Myrtle yells "What the hell are you looking at? I know where I am!" Myrtle opens the door, and looks around, as she sees cell phone shops, leather stores, and mutters "Looks like somebody's hellbent for leather." Myrtle walks down the concourse, as someone stops her, and asks "Are you lost? No white folks come down here anymore. And this ain't your side of town!" Myrtle snaps back "Ever heard of pepper spray, pistols, knife, and a mad old white lady? I have nothing to lose so back the hell off of me and put on some clothes that fit!" Unknown to Myrtle, a salon, called "Alberta's on the mall" sits behind her, and inside, Alberta Woods, sits in a chair, as one of her employees runs in and tells her "There's this crazy ass white woman in a hoodie yelling at everybody." Alberta gets up, and tells her employee "Help Ms.Thelma with her weave, I will walk out there and see what's going on." Alberta walks out of her shop, as she looks over, as a woman yells at Myrtle "I'm not scared of you old woman! Don't talk to my man like that and go back to your side of town!" Alberta yells "Y'all get y'all's asses off of her now! I mean it!" Myrtle turns around, as Alberta asks "Myrtle Thomas. What brought you down here from the state line?" Myrtle pulls down her hoodie, and Alberta sighs "I pity the hairstylist that messed up your hair." Myrtle hugs Alberta, and goes "Oh my adopted Daughter. Save me!" Alberta walks Myrtle inside, as a woman reminds Alberta "I am next!" Alberta tells Myrtle "Make yourself comfortable, and I'll take care of your hair." The woman asks "Well?" Alberta responds "Go down the hall and buy a damn wig." Alberta walks over to Myrtle, as one of the hairstylists asks Alberta "Who's the white woman?" Myrtle responds "Alberta's white Mama." Alberta starts to laugh, as she tells her employees "This lady and I worked together for years before we were both laid off at the same time from Willard's." Alberta's assistant goes "Oh so she's the woman you talk about all the time?" Alberta nods, as she and Myrtle begins to catch up, as Alberta quips to her longtime friend "Your hair will be safe now. Bring Sarah next time."
A few hours later, Regina paces the floor, as Sarah sits in the living room, and asks Regina "You keep up you'll fall in the basement." Regina asks frantically "Mama's not here? What if those hoodrats killed her?" Sarah sighs "You need to chill out. Wanna go to the basement?" Regina snaps "No! Those people.." Sarah stops Regina, and warns her "You watch your mouth before you lose your teeth." Regina sighs "Oh yeah. Amelia." Sarah tells her Sister "Mama and Daddy are open-minded, and raised us the same way though your mind has never been open except for your legs." Myrtle walks inside, as she beams "I'm saved. Look at me now." Regina cries "Mama! You're alive." Myrtle glares at Regina, and asks "Were you making funeral arrangements? You're not in the will." Ted, in the den, as he's drinking yells "Damnit Regina!" Myrtle looks down into the den, and turns to Regina, and warns her "You go make yourself look less slutty, and sober your Husband. We have a guest for dinner tonight." Sarah asks "Alberta's coming over?" Myrtle smiles, and goes "Yes sweetie she is. She'll be over in a few hours, so time for me to start cooking." Regina asks her Mother "You won't cook for Teddy and I?" Myrtle laughs "You know how to cook, and I only cook for people I like." Myrtle heads into the kitchen, as does Sarah, as Regina warns her Husband "Alberta's never been fond of me, but yet just loves Sarah, and Mama told me she'd trade me for Alberta any day." Ted asks "Is she overly religious or anything? Or has something against.." Regina answers "Just hope she doesn't bring her Husband." Ted looks at Regina, and tells his Wife "I think I'll go to Grandview and skip this dinner." Regina sighs "Good idea." Myrtle walks out of the kitchen, and tells Ted "And stay there too." Regina rolls her eyes, as Myrtle returns to the kitchen, and Regina sighs with disgust "I really hoped I'd never have to see snooty Alberta. It's going to be a long night."
It's dinner time, and in the kitchen, Myrtle's cooked her specialty, Fried Chicken, and Regina walks in the kitchen, as Sarah prepares the table, as Myrtle walks over to Regina, and grabs her hand, as Regina gets a beer, and warns "Don't you think about it. Alberta's almost here." Regina yells "Damn!" Myrtle adds "And straighten your ass up. Don't start pitching damn fits because Alberta's here and she doesn't like you." Sarah asks "Will Ward be joining in?" Myrtle tells Sarah "Alberta said to put it to where Regina doesn't go mad, he was tired, but said hello." A knock's at the door, as Myrtle tells Regina "Instead of boozing up, help your Sister." Regina sighs with disgust, as Myrtle heads to the front door, and answers, and Alberta looks at Myrtle and goes "Looking good. Anyone notice?" Myrtle tells her "Sarah did, but Regina was ready to call the troops." Alberta rolls her eyes, as she sighs to Myrtle "I can't believe a woman in her 60s would move in with her Mother." Myrtle whispers "I'm senile and feeble to her. Thinks I have a pot of gold buried in the yard." Alberta quips "Figures." Sarah walks into the living room, as Alberta gleams "Oh Sarah!" Sarah and Alberta hugs, as Sarah responds "It's been a long time." Alberta tells Sarah "Myrtle told me you were living here. Good to see you in one piece." Sarah laughs "Regina won't admit it, but she fears me." Alberta jokes "If she looked like she did when I last saw her, she may scare herself." Myrtle tells Sarah and Alberta "Let's all go into the kitchen, I cooked chicken." Alberta reminds Myrtle "I'm watching my diet now. I wasn't blessed like you with weight Ms.I can eat what I want and wake up and not look like I'm pregnant." Myrtle laughs "Ok to slip for tonight." Alberta walks inside the kitchen, as Regina, who sits at the table with a beer in her hand, and slightly buzzed, sighs "Oh shit." Alberta looks at Regina slightly, and looks at her wrist, and walks over, and looks over Regina, and quips "Damn you're darker than me. Just remember though, Black don't crack baby, but white women in tanning beds do, and Regina, you're too damn white to be black." Regina snaps "Still the bitch you always were aren't you?" Alberta notices the beer, and Sarah sits down, as Myrtle takes her place at the head of the table, and bends over, and knocks the beer off the kitchen table, as Regina's eyes widen with disgust, as Myrtle tells her Daughter "Clean that up and act civilized for once." Regina throws the beer can away, as Sarah asks Alberta "So where's Ward? I haven't seen him in years." Alberta looks over at Regina, and smiles, and snarks "I invited him, and told him about Regina and her new Husband, and he's working late." Regina rolls her eyes, as Alberta asks Myrtle "So I see Mitzi still lives next door?" Myrtle responds "Oh yes. Boyd passed on a month before Jimmy, and she's babysitting her Granddaughter tonight." Alberta asks "I noticed when I pulled in that house on the other side of you's for sale?" Myrtle nods "It is. Mrs.Martin moved to a retirement home, and it's currently empty." Alberta tells Sarah "You should buy it Sarah." Sarah sighs "I don't care about living in a home since the kids are grown, and I'm paying for Amelia's college tuition." Alberta quips "It's likely wise you stay here and protect Myrtle anyway." Regina snaps "Protect Mama from me?" Alberta nods "Exactly." Myrtle kicks Regina under the table, as Sarah asks Alberta "So how's your family doing?" Alberta smiles "All my kids are well, and Ward's getting ready to retire soon, and we're looking to move." Myrtle tells her friend "Move next door! That's an order!" Sarah also encourages Alberta, as Regina yells "I'm going to the den." Alberta snides "Good to see you Regina." Regina ignores Alberta, as Myrtle sighs with relief "Thank God." Alberta responds "She's still the same hypocrite she's always been." Myrtle asks again "So why don't you and Ward move next door?" Alberta yells so Regina can hear "The whiteness will blind him as he puts it!" Sarah laughs, and Myrtle responds "The area's pretty mixed. He'd be comfortable." Alberta responds "I know, I just wanted to say something to the prune in the den." Regina yells from the den "I heard that!" Alberta yells "At least I'll know not to buy you a hearing aid when you turn 66." Regina walks into the kitchen, and snaps "And what exactly are you trying to start Alberta? I know you hate me." Alberta gets up from the table, as Sarah and Myrtle both cover their eyes, and Alberta tears into Regina, telling her calmly, yet sternly "I know how you really feel about me, and my race Regina. And it's 2014, and Sarah's Granddaughter's mixed, and dating my Youngest Son, and you and that wino Ted are here mooching off your Mother, who's not senile, not frail, but vibrant, and full of life, and cut her a damn break, and grow the hell up!" Regina's silent, as Myrtle looks at Sarah, as both of them watches on, as Regina walks back into the den, with her head down, as Myrtle smiles "That's a first." Alberta responds "Myrtle, Sarah, since when have I ever not spoke my mind?" Myrtle hugs Alberta, as Sarah gets up and walks into the den, as Regina sulks, and Sarah tells her Sister "You earned that tongue-lashing." Regina sighs "I hate her." Sarah looks at Regina, and tells her "Amelia's my Granddaughter, and I raised her after I lost Jenny in that car accident. You claim to be about family, maybe you need to check yourself." Sarah walks out, as Myrtle and Alberta stands in the living room, and Alberta tells Myrtle "I think Ward and I may just move out here, and I'll do your hair right here for free." Myrtle shrugs "You don't have.." Alberta hugs Myrtle, and tells her "You've earned it, and Ward and I will be available anytime and you, me, Mitzi, and Sarah can revive our "Ladie's Night" again." Myrtle smiles, as Alberta hugs Sarah, and looks into the den, and smiles "Bye Regina. Make sure to wear makeup. Don't want to scare yourself." Alberta heads back to her home, as Myrtle walks into the den, as Regina continues to sulk in self-pity, and tells her Daughter "Take heed, and when she does move in Mrs.Martin's old home, don't start no shit. And warn Ted that Ward was a boxer, and has no tolerance for people." Regina's silent, as she doesn't say anything, and Myrtle and Sarah walks back into the kitchen, as Myrtle tells Sarah "I think it's about to feel more like home with my favorite girls around, you, Mitzi, Alberta." Sarah asks "Do you think this will make Regina move out?" Myrtle looks at Sarah, and sighs "I wouldn't bet on that sweet girl. She's like a pariah, she won't go anywhere." Regina sits in the den meanwhile, and says to herself, as she's sobering "Mama, Sarah, and Alberta's right. But I'll never admit it to them."
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