Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Life With Myrtle: Season One. Episode 10. Sarah's Nightmare

   It's morning time at Myrtle's House, as Myrtle sits on the patio and drinks a cup of coffee, as Sarah walks outside, as she asks her Mother "You've been quiet this morning Mama?" Myrtle points towards the home behind her, and whispers "They just got done having sex in their pool." Sarah gasps "Mama. Are you spying on your neighbors?" Myrtle quips "They really are too damn ugly to look at. Jimmy and I stayed in the bedroom, or the kitchen table." Sarah sighs "Too much information this early in the morning Mama." Myrtle sighs "Ahh the joys of something I retired from when your Daddy died. Good thing I got a toy though." Sarah covers her face, as she blushes, as Myrtle whispers, as she keeps watching the neighbors behind her "He put on some clothes. Good I thought I was about to puke." Regina walks out, as she prepares to head to Pancake King, as she asks her Mother and Sister "What are the two of you watching?" Sarah responds to her Sister "Possible potent sex." Myrtle laughs "Remember that Regina? It looks like you're not the only horny bitch on the block now. We got two sex addicts behind us." Regina laughs "I watched them last night. I wish we had a pool." Myrtle sighs "And there's the reason why we don't have one." Meanwhile someone knocks at the door, as Ted answers from inside, and a yell's heard, as Alberta yells "Sarah! Sarah!" Alberta walks out onto the patio, as Regina rolls her eyes, and Myrtle and Sarah turns to Alberta, as Sarah asks "What is it?" Alberta asks "Watching the neighbors? Ward and I did the same thing. But that's not why I'm here." Regina quips to Alberta "You have always been a nosy person." Alberta asks Regina "Wouldn't you like to play with your Husband? I see slut in your eyes." Regina yells "I have to work!" Regina leaves, as Alberta tells Sarah "Look at what I found this morning in Ward Jr's bedroom." Myrtle and Sarah looks at a pregnancy test, and Myrtle asks Alberta "Are you trying to tell us you are pregnant? I hope so." Alberta reminds her friend "I am 65, and sadly no." Sarah sighs with disgust "Amelia is Mama." Alberta yells "Damn right! And by the way, guess who's been staying with me?" Sarah is silent, as she fumes, as Myrtle asks "Your Mama?" Alberta snaps "Amelia! In Ward Jr's room! What are we going to do Sarah?" Sarah pulls out her cell phone, as she calls her Granddaughter, and gets no message, and Sarah leaves a message, telling Amelia "Call me ASAP!" Sarah hangs up, as Alberta tells Sarah "We're going to Amelia's apartment. She's moving." Sarah screams "WHAT!" Myrtle quips "Forget the mall, I'm going with the two of you."
   At Amelia's Apartment, Amelia and Ward Jr kiss, as Amelia tells her fiancee "At least now I'll be closer to MaMa, and Grandma living with you, and Alberta and your Dad." Ward Jr sighs "Well he isn't pleased, and I haven't told Mama yet." Amelia asks "I thought you told her?" Ward Jr replies "I don't know how." Amelia sighs "Well I haven't said anything to MaMa yet either. If she learns of this she will rip me to shreds." Ward Jr assures Amelia "Nobody knows. And my Mama respects my privacy." The door swings open, as Sarah, Alberta, and Myrtle walk inside, as Sarah asks her Granddaughter "So what's with the boxes?" Myrtle looks around, as Alberta pulls out the pregnancy test, and Ward Jr yells at his Mother "Who said you could go through my shit Mama.." Alberta slaps her Son, as Sarah slaps her Granddaughter, as Alberta yells at Ward Jr "Don't you disrespect me! My damn house, and I'll do as I please boy so don't push my buttons!" Sarah asks her Granddaughter meanwhile, in a calm, angry, tone "So are you pregnant? Why are you moving?" Amelia responds "I don't know MaMa." Myrtle quips "My house is full." Sarah asks sarcastically "You don't know? The test says you are, and you're moving?" Ward Jr glares at his Mother, as Alberta asks "Who the hell told you that Amelia could live with us? It sure as hell wasn't your Father, and you sure didn't ask me!" Ward Jr looks at Amelia, as he yells at his Mother "Well then! We'll just stay here and when we find out for sure Amelia's pregnant, then none of you will know!" Sarah looks at her Granddaughter, as she asks "So have you put your notice in? Because you're not staying with me." Amelia picks up the notice, and rips it apart, as she yells at her Grandmother "I'm staying, and all of you get the hell out of my Apartment!" Alberta warns Ward Jr "This isn't over." Sarah looks at Amelia, and tells her boldly "If you can have a child, then I don't have to pay for your way. So both of you need to find a damn job!" Myrtle looks at Amelia, and quips "Well you don't want to know what I think." Amelia yells "Tell me Grandma!" Myrtle slaps her Great-Granddaughter, as she goes "You are turning into Regina, and my Sarah didn't raise no slut!" Sarah, Alberta, and Myrtle storms out, as Amelia and Ward Jr looks at each other with disbelief, meanwhile outside, Sarah looks at Alberta, as Myrtle asks "Where did the two of you go wrong?"
   A few hours pass, and back at Alberta and Ward's home, Alberta sits in her living room, as Ward walks inside, and Ward asks his Wife "So Junior called and said you hit him?" Alberta responds "Yes the hell I did Ward, he needs to show some respect!" Ward asks "Ain't I the one supposed to hit the kids woman?" Alberta rolls her eyes, and points to Ward's recliner, and tells him "Well if you knew the whole story, you'd killed him." Ward is quiet, as he asks with hesitation "Did he fertilize the half-breed?" Alberta sighs "I found a pregnancy test in his room." Ward snaps "The boy's 20 years old Alberta! Why would you go through his shit?" Alberta snaps "Well it's our damn house, so I have a right to do so. Should have hid it more carefully. Did you know she was planning to move in?" Ward gets up in a fury, and yells "Hell no! Hell no she ain't moving in with us!" Alberta starts to cry, as she tells her Husband "Well he moved in with Amelia instead." Next door at Myrtle's home, Myrtle sits in the den, as Regina and Ted walks inside, as Regina asks her Mother, noticing anger "What's wrong Mama?" Myrtle glares at her Daughter, and sighs "We have another slut in the family." Regina asks "Did Sarah finally admit it?" Myrtle yells "No! But her Granddaughter is, and pregnant!" Regina smiles "Oh? Well well. Anytime I hear news like this..." Myrtle sternly warns Regina, as Ted walks back into the den with a beer "Don't dare get involved! Miranda got pregnant at 16 if I remember correctly, and Marie was 18." Regina reminds her Mother "This isn't about me, but Sarah. Looks like Ms.Perfect failed." Sarah meanwhile walks into the den, as she's overheard her Sister, and asks "What did you say Regina? You are now the perfect parent? Your kids didn't know who to call Daddy because you were too busy playing musical beds. You stay the hell out of this!" Ted looks at his Wife, and tells her "Regina, we should go down to the bar. Too damn tense here." Sarah snaps "Good idea, the last thing I need right now is to deal with the two of you." Regina smiles at her Sister, as she goes "Your first Great-Grandchild, better start making that quilt.." Myrtle yells "LEAVE!" Regina and Ted leaves, as Regina yells "Someone's outside." An older woman walks inside, as Myrtle asks "Zara?" Zara Washington, Alberta's Mother, who's buzzed, goes "Your all white?" Myrtle asks "Are you lost?" Zara looks at Myrtle and Sarah, and asks "Who slapped my baby?" Myrtle responds "Nobody slapped Alberta." Zara yells "Little Ward!" Myrtle responds "Maybe you should go ask your Daughter." Zara snaps "Good. She done moved to whitey-town, and now she's turning into one." Zara mumbles as she walks out "I warned them, I warned them..." Myrtle looks over at her Daughter, as Sarah gets upset, as she asks "Mama, what did I do wrong?" Myrtle responds "Kids these days Sarah. They think they can do whatever they want." Sarah sighs "I stand by what I said. If she can have a kid, she can take care of herself. I'm not paying for that tuition either." Myrtle looks at her Daughter, and responds "Give Mama a hug." Sarah hugs her Mother, as Myrtle whispers "I wish I could have been more forceful with Regina when she was pregnant with her first kid, but.." Sarah responds "Daddy." Myrtle sighs "He was the only one that had a soft spot for her."
    Meanwhile at Amelia's Apartment, Amelia gets off the phone, as Ward Jr asks Amelia "So who was that?" Amelia yells "MaMa just cut my funds for college! She has it in for us!" Ward Jr responds "We may have an ally in my Dad, but only until Mama talks to him." Amelia sighs "Well at least your Grandma seems to support us. She did offer to move in." Ward Jr tells Amelia "Well her favorite past time involves a bottle of cheap wine, and riding the bus and tormenting my Dad. Since we live in the inner city, she may..." Amelia notices Ward Jr freeze up, as she asks "What's wrong?" Ward Jr tells Amelia "I don't think I can handle this. I don't have a job, you don't have a job..." Ward Jr walks into the bedroom, as Amelia yells "Don't you dare do this to me." Ward Jr walks out with his suitcase, and tells Amelia "I'm going back home." Amelia yells "So you're going to leave me here to fend for myself?" Ward Jr responds "I need my Mama." Ward Jr leaves, as Amelia's phone rings, and she responds "Thank you." Amelia sits on the futon, and starts to cry, as she too leaves, as she heads to Myrtle's Home.
    As night's fallen, at Myrtle's Home, Sarah and Myrtle sits on the patio, as Myrtle tells Sarah, pointing towards the neighbors home behind her "Looks like the horny birds are at it again." Mitzi walks over, as she tells Myrtle "I can see better from here." Sarah sighs "This is the last thing I need to see right now." Sarah walks back inside, as Myrtle pulls out a bag of nachos, and tells Mitzi "Let's sit back and watch the neighborhood porno." Sarah walks inside, as Amelia yells from the front door "MaMa!" Sarah answers, and asks her Granddaughter "Why are you here?" Amelia starts to cry, as she tells her Grandmother "Ward Jr left me." Sarah is silent, as Amelia cries "I can't handle this MaMa." Sarah tells Amelia "Well you should have used protection as I told you." Amelia asks "Can I stay here tonight?" Sarah asks "You told me you can take care of yourself. Why do you need me?" Amelia cries "I don't want to be by myself." Sarah sighs "I give in. You can stay in my room, and go to bed. I'll go talk to Ward Jr. Just don't walk back on the patio." Amelia asks "Why?" Sarah whispers "Your Grandma and Aunt Mitzi's watching the neighbors in the back have sex." Next door, Ward Jr arrives, as Alberta walks into the living room in her bathrobe, as does Ward, as their Son asks "Can I move back in?" Ward is silent, as Alberta responds "No. You have a responsibility now Daddy. You can't walk away from it." Ward responds "Too many young black men walk away when the going gets tough boy, my Dad left me, and if that half-breed's pregnant, you're staying with her, and raising that kid!" Ward Jr responds "I'm not ready." Alberta snaps "Well you go back to Amelia's apartment and stick it out! That's what got you into this mess!" The doorbell rings, and Alberta answers, as Sarah walks inside, and glares at Ward Jr, and asks calmly "So you left my Granddaughter?" Alberta tells Sarah "He's on his way back." A laugh's heard from the back porch, as Zara yells "Those two whites are like rabbits in the pool." Sarah tells Ward Jr "Well Amelia's with me, and in the morning we're going to find out if she's pregnant. Her Father walked away from Jenny when she was pregnant, and I think it's cowardly to walk away." Ward nods "I said the same damn thing." Ward Jr yells "Well all of you can take your thoughts and go to hell..." Alberta slaps her Son again, as Ward shakes his head, as Ward Jr yells "I'm going to talk to Amelia." Sarah snaps "No you're not." Ward Jr yells "It's between us!" Zara yells from outside "Shut up! y'all are distracting me!" Alberta yells at her Mother "Go to bed!" Ward Jr yells "Well I'm heading over!" Alberta yells "Go to your room!" Ward Jr asks "Why?" Ward yells forcefully "You heard her!" Alberta looks at Sarah, and tells her "Let me know what happens tomorrow at the OBGYN." Sarah nods, and walks out, as Zara walks inside, and quips "There's some crazy folks in whitey-hood." Alberta looks at her Mother, and sighs "Don't start tonight."
    A day later, at Myrtle's Home, Myrtle sits on the patio, as Mitzi sits with her as they drink water, and Myrtle quips "Any moment now they will be in that pool." Mitzi asks Myrtle, noticing fencing on the ground "I think they're about to build a fence to block us from watching." Myrtle yells "Damn!" Myrtle yells to her Neighbor in the back, as he puts up a wooden fence "Stay inside you wrinkled old horny bastards. And now I won't have to worry about getting ugly-blindness!" Mitzi asks "What do you think possessed them to put up the fence?" Myrtle points towards Alberta and Ward's home, and asks "Remember that laughing and yelling from the back porch?" Mitzi nods, and Myrtle answers "Thank Zara for spoiling our fun." Meanwhile inside, Sarah and Amelia returns from the OBGYN, as Amelia quips "I bought that test at the SuperMart." Sarah quips "That explains it then." Myrtle walks inside, and asks "So are you pregnant?" Amelia shakes her head, and Sarah tells her Mother "A faulty test." Myrtle breathes a sigh of relief, as she responds "I'm not ready for another Great-Great Grandchild again." Sarah quips "Maybe you should tell that to Regina's Grandchildren." Myrtle responds "Well that's not my call. They learned from her." Amelia looks at her Grandmother, and asks "So are you going to pay for my tuition again since I'm not pregnant?" Sarah responds "Half. You are getting a job. You're an adult, so you need some responsibility. You'll be distracted from making attempts then." Ward Jr knocks at the door, as Sarah answers, and Ward Jr walks over to Amelia, and tells her "I'm sorry about the way I acted, and Mama just told me." Amelia sighs "It sucks." Sarah responds "A blessing in disguise. Both of you aren't ready, and neither are Alberta and I." Amelia looks at Ward Jr, and laughs "I'm taking birth control again, so we can still practice." Ward Jr smiles "Nobody's home next door." Amelia and Ward Jr run out, as Sarah shakes her head, as she says to herself "There's no hope for her." Myrtle puts her hand on her Daughter's shoulder, and sighs "Kids these days Sarah. At least she's taking the pill." Sarah pulls out the bottle, and sighs "And she left them here." Myrtle rolls her eyes, and Sarah tells her Mother "She took one when we left the OBGYN. But I'll make sure she takes them, and if not, then.." Myrtle sighs "I'll slap her next time."
 
    

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